David J. Kaplan's Home Page
Welcome to my reality distortion field. You will find few useful links on my web site. I tend to use this site to express myself, and mainly the weird-self that I am. I am not trying to sell anything other than myself, and to that end you are warned that funny, weird, self-deprecating material is located here.
A Friend sent me a nice sound file. I don't know who did it, but you should listen to it.
Description of Site Contents
Since there is little of value, I thought it best to provide to you a brief description of the pages I allow you to access. My site contains over 2,000 files and folders, but you have access to only a small portion (unless you're a hacker). Things you don't have access to are not listed here, and I suggest you don't use your imagination. Sorry, no compromising photographs are hidden ... they're all foolishly accessible. The boring stuff is hidden, trust me.
What follows is a description of the pages each of the links on the left side take you to. Good luck, you've been warned.
- Sort-of Useful Stuff
- Homepage
- This page. Oooh, very descriptive.
- Vita
- Like I said, I'm trying to sell myself. My vita contains my endless education, limited "real-world" experiences, extensive capabilities, conference presentation, papers published, and all the usual Vita jazz. Please do not be dissapointed that it is not as long as my Mom's vita of over 70 pages.
- Research Interests
- You can read a few short descriptions of research I've engaged myself in.
- Site Information
- Just some information about the equipment and software used to serve this fab site.
- Not at all useful stuff
- Suprise
- This is the experience I had upon receiving a suprise gift from a friend. Very weird stuff. If I had to rank it on the el-weirdo scale, it'd rank REAL high!
- Personal Interests
- Just who is David J. Kaplan anyhow?
- Sting Rays
- I enjoy a usual annual trip to some place tropical to dawn my SCUBA equipment and take a plunge. On a trip to Grand Cayman Island, a very attractive (and nice) dentist snapped a picture of my Dad and I in Sting Ray city.
- Shuttle Teather
- I watched with great excitement the teather experiments on the Shuttle some years ago and stole some pictures I thought we're interesting or important.
- Goo
- A friend bought me Kai's Power Goo and forced me at gun point (I swear!) to use the blasted tool. Hey, it was fun, and as for the gun, well, lets just say my friends wit can penetrate!
- Bernard
- The friend who gave me Kai's Power Goo went out and got himself a kid. He paid, I'd estimate, two to five dollars for the kid. Check him out.
- Shaving Reaction
- I had a beard for about two years. I shaved it off in early 1997, and I was shocked! I just had to create a pseudo-documentary on the subject.
- Abnormal Self
- Just a couple animated gifs to show you just how truely weird I am
- Thesis Process Illustrated
- What do you get when you take an Apple print ad, a mug of me, and some very light weight graphics tools?
- Left Over's
- Don't get hungry, I don't mean it like that. What I mean is: I was cleaning out the web directory and found a bunch of images that weren't used anywhere so I stuck them on a page. That't it, nothing special, just didn't want the images to be homeless!
- Finger Me
- Finger is a method to gather information about a user. When you finger a person, you aren't doing anything nasty, and the person doesn't even know what's happened. Go ahead, finger me and see what happens. I double dare you. Hey, Wait! This is the old me at Carnegie Mellon University. Oh well, have fun with it anyhow.
Sorry to upset you, but that's all for this page!